ouroboros
by blakes8th
Summary: Difficult one to explain. Takes place immediately after the last episode of series 11. Rated T for one naughty word.


Ouroboros

Disclaimer: Nothing you recognise belongs to me, it is the property of the BBC, I'm just having a play while they are not watching.

Rating: T, some language and mild violence.

Characters: Doctors 12 and 13, Yaz, Graham and Ryan.

Author's note: Picks up at the end of the last episode of series 11. Reviews

welcomed and appreciated. Be kind.

/

It was over, Tzim-sha had been stopped, but it was too late for those poor souls on those five stolen planets. It had eaten into her, the anger and hate for the senseless loss of life, and it had taken all of her years of practised self control to contain that fury. She couldn't blame her friend for wanting to kill the creature in front of them, and was immensely proud that he had refused to pull the trigger when he had had the murderer of his wife in his sights, the doctor took her friends hand, her blond hair and clear features hiding an age and wisdom far greater than her appearance would suggest .

"Graham O'Brian, you are one of the strongest people I know." She saw him accept her praise as the truth, settling the monster in his soul. The Doctor smiled at him and turned and started to lead them away when a flash of white light made her stop and put her hand up to shield her eyes. Graham and Ryan tensed, still holding the guns which they had used to force Tzim-Sha into his own stasis chamber.

A figure materialised out of the light, tall and clad in a sort of dark red armoured suit, It's face completely concealed by the full helmet, it took several steps towards the Timelord and her companions, pausing only for a moment before marching past them towards the stasis room, The figure was intent on his target and was past them all before any of them could register what had happened. The Doctor seemed to regain her senses the quickest and took off after the stranger, half running to keep up with its much longer strides. The others followed. She called back over her shoulder;

"Ux, fam, get into my Tardis, wait there for me." She turned her attention back to the stranger. Graham, Yaz and Ryan all looked at each other, and as a collective decided to completely ignore the Doctor and went after her as the ux hurried away to the safety of the Tardis. They could hear the Doctor's voice as she attempted to intercept the stranger.

"Oi, I don't know who you are, but if you think we're going to let you release Tzim-Sha, then I'm going to have to disappoint you, he's going nowhere!" She exclaimed, getting in front of the stranger, who practically ran her down as it refused to alter it's pace or course.

"Hey, the Doc's talking to you!" Ryan also got in it's way, holding the gun up. The Stranger finally paused, which allowed Graham to take up a position on the other side of the Doctor, Yaz moved up besides them. The stranger seemed to be looking at the guns, its helmeted head moving from person to person as if it was taking stock of the situation, as if trying to determine whether the threat was worth getting to it's goal. The Doctor placed a hand on each of the guns, gently pushing them down as she noticed the menacing looking weapon in the strangers hands.

"Look, I don't know who you are, but so far, today has turned out to be a good day, the bad guy is where he can't hurt anyone, and we managed to save the rest of the hostages who will get to go home to their families and that always makes me happy. I'd really like to stay happy. But we can't let you free that creature in there, the atrocities he has committed..." The Doctor paused, closing her eyes, imagining the five dead planets. "The death and devastation he has caused, he cannot ever be allowed to go free." The stranger nodded.

"I'm not here to free it." It said, the helmet making it's voice sound mechanical and emotionless. "But you are wrong. Today is not a good day. Today is the beginning of the end." It suddenly pushed the doctor and Graham aside, knocking the four off balance and rushed into the stasis room. They rushed after it, and got there just in time to see it opening fire on the stasis chamber, the panels shattered and Tzim-Sha fell onto the floor. As the monster pushed himself onto his knees, the armoured stranger opened fire again, this time a ball of plasma hit the alien in the chest and engulfed him, with a scream, he was reduced to a smouldering corpse.

"What the fuck!" Ryan exclaimed, the shock of the brutality of the death making him take a step towards the stranger, his gun raised.

"Steady son." Graham put a hand on his shoulder, equally appalled, but not wanting Ryan to cross swords with this new threat. The Doctor looked stunned for a split second before fury crossed her features.

"That was not necessary!" She exclaimed, getting in the strangers face, her horror at it's actions over riding any sense of self preservation. "He was imprisoned, no danger to anybody any more. That was murder, cold blooded and premeditated murder!" She poked the stranger in the chest, making it take a step backwards, under the circumstances, it would have been a comical sight, a fully armoured, gun toting warrior being pushed backwards by an unarmed female who stood a whole head shorter, but there was nothing funny about the expression on the woman's face, over two and a half thousand years worth of fury on display for all to see. "What gave you the right to do that? What gives you the right to decide who should live or die? Answer me, show me the face of the brave warrior who kills someone while they sleep!" She challenged. The stranger turned away, lowering it's head.

"Are you sure? Once done, you won't be able to forget."

"Oh, I'm sure. I'm over two thousand years old but I'll never get used to people like you, you think you're so mighty, so much more important than everyone else, well, you know what, all life is important, even people like him. What gives you the right to raise yourself above others. Go on brave warrior, what words of wisdom do you have as an excuse for this?" She stopped and took a breath, waiting for some kind of response, the stranger turned away. It reached up and started to unclip the helmet, the mechanical fastenings clicking as it began to remove the head protection. As it did it began to speak softly.

"Never be cruel, never be cowardly..." The helmet lifted away, revealing a head of grey curls, The Doctor gasped and took several steps backwards, shaking her head, she put her hand up to her mouth trying to stifle the sob which escaped her lips, tears started to run down her face. Yaz grabbed her hand;

"What is it Doctor, what's wrong."

"No, no, no...You can't be...Why?" The stranger, turned to them, revealing his sharp features and piercing grey blue eyes. A soft smile softened the harsh lines of his face.

"...And if you are..." The stranger continued, his Scottish accent clearer now that the helmet wasn't distorting his voice.

"Always make amends." The Doctor finished. She repeated her previous question. "Why?" She pleaded. Yaz suddenly twigged what was going on.

"Wait a minute, when we first met you, you said you'd just changed. You said you used to be grey and Scottish. Doctor, is that you?" Yaz held the Doctor's arm, Graham nodded.

"You told us, about this regeneration thing that your lot do when you're badly hurt." He reminded her, handing her a tissue. The Doctor nodded, scrubbing the tears from her cheeks.

"Yes. He's me. But I can't understand what would make me do such a thing as commit cold blooded murder."

"Sometimes, what is right, and what is necessary are two different things." The former Doctor spoke up. He sighed as four pairs of eyes fixed on him accusingly and pulled the gloves from his hands, dropping them to the floor. He ran his fingers through his hair before running them down his face. "Look, I'm not going to get long to explain..."

"Doc, isn't it a really bad idea for two of you to be together, at the same time."

Brian whispered. Thirteen nodded.

"Usually only happens when something really bad is going on."

"Which should give you some idea of how essential it is that I am here." Twelve looked at the gun he had used on the murderous Stenza, "There was no other way."

"Why?" Ryan asked, "What don't we know?"

"In a few hundred years time, an expedition to this planet will inadvertently free the monster from it's cocoon. He will then set about wreaking revenge upon those who imprisoned him. To be precise, you. He wages war upon you." Twelve turned his steely eyes onto the other timelord.

"How?" She threw her arms in the air, "What would be bad enough to make you do this?"

"He travels back to the beginning, our beginning. And he murders the first of us, so erasing us from history. The universe starts to go dark as we disappear from time, all those we saved, gone." He paused, looking at the gun in his hands. "He used this, first on Barbara, then Ian, then Susan, the old man was forced to watch, then he used it on him, over and over, not giving the old man a chance to regenerate. He ended us. This moment is protected, it's still in a state of flux, but surely you can feel it, a ripple in our timeline, it will be miniscule at the moment, but it's there, isn't it." She nodded. He showed them his wrist, Thirteen recognised the thick leather strap.

"River's vortex manipulator." She whispered. He smiled sadly.

"Yes. The high council called on us to try and stop him. First we went back and tried to stop him from being released, but that event became a fixed point, so we tried to go back and intercept him before he could kill the first of us. That's when he..." The Scottish doctor sighed and rubbed at his face, "He used that gun again. That 'creature' killed River, I couldn't stop him, I saw her face as she..." He couldn't finish.

"River... how? Where are you in our timeline?" Thirteen looked both shaken and confused at the same time. Twelve shook his head, a wry smile on his lips.

"Doesn't matter. Tzim-Sha overwrote our timeline.." He muttered sadly.

"Doc, who's River?" Graham asked. Thirteen smiled softly.

"Professor River Song. The most amazing, infuriating, and impossible woman I have ever met..." She whispered.

"My wife." Twelve completed. Graham put a hand on thirteen's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Doc." He whispered. She smiled and nodded, acknowledging his comfort. Twelve turned away and started to unclip the armour, dropping it to the floor as if it was dead weight.

"The armour protected me from the unravelling timeline, a gift from the timelords." He sounded tired, his blue eyes dull. He sat down on a crate, his face in his hands. "I've done all I can." Yaz took pity on the man and sat down next to him. Ryan cleared his throat.

"Umm, yeah. Just one thing. If you have just stopped him from escaping and going back in time to kill you, the other you's. Then how will you know to come back and stop him from escaping. Isn't that a paradox... thingy?" Everyone looked at him and he shrugged "I've watched star trek." Twelve smiled sadly at his counterpart.

"He's good. Keep hold of him. But you're right. It's called an Ouroboros paradox."

"Ouroboros, like the serpent eating it's own tail?" Graham asked. They looked at him, he laughed. "Hey, I watch telly as well. Learned that from the quiz show 'the chase'' Thirteen nodded.

"It's a never ending cycle. An event leads to a conclusion which prevents the original event which erases the conclusion which then causes the original event." She saw Yaz, Ryan and Graham all looking at her, she shrugged "It made sense in my mind."

"But that means, now that Tim Shaw is dead, there's no reason for him to come back, so..." Graham shook his head "This time travel stuff gives me a headache."

"But, if you knew that, then why?" Yaz asked. Twelve looked at Thirteen, his eyes sorrowful.

"No." She gasped. He nodded.

"I'm sorry, I truly am, if I could take this off you I would. But this is the event horizon. And you're at the eye of the storm."

There was a cold silence as the reality of the situation hit home. "That is why you haven't felt the ripples in the fabric of the universe. But the as soon as you leave this moment, this timeline will become fixed and you will feel our timeline begin to unravel. This is the only chance we have to stop the paradox from forming. Soon I will fade as the timeline resets. Then it will be up to you to break the paradox." He stood up and walked up to the younger version of himself. He placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, so sorry. But this is the only way. Do you not think I haven't already tried everything else. The time lords even reinstated the timescoop and tried to grab him from his timeline, they were so desperate. But this is all we have left. You have to kill him, here and now." He seemed to stagger a bit, the doctor grabbed his arms to steady him.

"Why did you kill him though, so brutally. Why not just come back and tell us?"

"Self indulgence on my part. When Gallifrey called us to help, we had just dined at Rigal seven, at the palace of Dutery the fourth as he celebrated his coronation. A week later, River was dead. I felt them die." His eyes turned steely, his face set hard. "That creature knew, he laughed at me as he burned them. I could only watch, I couldn't get to them." He staggered again. "I think this is it. My time is up. You know what you have to do. If not for us, then for our daughter..." He stepped back and faded from existence, the armour and gun disappeared, and a whooshing sound gathered as the scene before them faded out and then reset. Tzim-sha was still in the stasis pod, and the doctor and her companions all looked at each other. Ryan was the first to break the silence.

"We all remember that, yes?"

"Yeah. It happened." Graham nodded. He looked at the doctor. "Do you want me to do it. I think I might be able to now, after what I just heard."

"Me to." Ryan nodded. Yaz slipped her hand into the doctors.

"What do we do."

"We have to end the paradox." She nodded. Yaz looked troubled.

"Doctor. That other you, he said he felt 'them' die. Does that mean what I think it meant?"

"On Rigel seven, during the pudding course, River told me that she was expecting. It was a miracle, it shouldn't have been possible."

"Tzim-Sha killed his wife and unborn child. That would push anyone over the edge." Ryan grimaced. "No wonder he killed him, even though he knew that time would reset."

"I know we have to do this, but isn't there any other way?" Yaz asked. "Shooting him just seems so...wrong. I know what we've heard is terrible, but he hasn't done those things yet. I don't know, maybe it's the police woman in me." She looked at her feet. The doctor squeezed her hand.

"Yasmin Khan, don't you apologise. You have the kindest soul and don't you ever change. And as for you two, if this is the way it has to happen, it'll be me that does it. I'll never ask anyone to do my dirty work." She walked over to the controls in front of the suspension pod and started to adjust the settings. The lights in the pod turned purple and an alarm sounded. The gauges on the pod all started to fall until they all sat at zero.

"What did you do?" Graham asked.

"These pods are equipped with an emergency medical feature. I released a massive dose of anaesthetic into his life support mix."

"You put him to sleep."

"Yes, then to make sure, I dropped the temperature in the pod to minus three hundred degrees." She gave them a small smile which didn't reach her eyes. "Then to really be sure, I changes the chemical composition of the suspension fluid. He's now a corpse encased in a solid resin. When we leave, we'll rig the ship to make it tamper proof. It's over, the paradox is broken."

"How can you be sure?" Graham asked. The doctor smiled.

"I can feel it." The Doctor looked down at her hands, she could feel the shifts in her timeline, as if someone had shaken a jar of water with sand in it and now the sand was settling back to the bottom of the jar. She breathed out and smiled softly. "Everything is going back to the way it should be. She looked at her friends. "C'mon, lets get everyone home. Then I feel like going to look at something nice and happy, what about you lot?"

"Yeah, happy sounds good." Graham agreed as the other two nodded. They headed back to the safety of the Tardis, tired and weary, and lost in their own thoughts.

?

The strange atmosphere in the Tardis lasted several days after the Ux and the colonists had been dropped off at their respective homes. The Doctor seemed melancholy, and her three friends were unsure how to broach the subject of what was bothering her. It was Graham who eventually sought her out, finding her curled up in a huge comfy armchair in the library.

"I was going to ask if you're okay there Doc. But that'd be a pretty stupid question wouldn't it." He sat down in the chair opposite her. "So how about, I ask if it's anything I can help with?"

The Doctor didn't move or say anything, she just stared off into the fireplace. Graham sighed and was about to leave her to her thoughts when her quiet voice stopped him.

"I saw, just for a moment, I saw..." She dropped her head.

"Saw what? Doc, let me help, Please."

"I saw his mind. For the smallest moment, our minds connected. I saw River, I saw her die again, I saw Tzim-Sha murder her." Graham swallowed, he reached forward and took one of the Doctors small hands in his own.

"Doc, I'm not even going to pretend to understand what you mean by 'again', but I know how it feels to watch the person you love die. There's nothing I can say or do to make you feel better, except, well It didn't happen did it, we stopped it from happening."

"Yes, Yes we stopped it. But...She still died Graham, not then, not how he described it. But she still died, and I saw it happen. And now when I try to remember her, all I can see is her dying."

"Yeah, It's difficult. When my Dad died, he'd been ill for so long, it was hard to remember him from before. It took a long time. Old photo's helped. Maybe that's what we should do. Do you have any old pictures?" Graham smiled at the Doctor looked up. A smile crossed her features.

"Oh, Graham, I think we can do better than that."

?

"So, while I like ice cream as much as anyone else, why are we here?" Ryan licked his hand where the chocolate ice cream had melted and dripped off the cone. "I mean, in case it's escaped your notice, this isn't the type of place four adults come to hang out. Even I feel old in here. I stopped enjoying ball pits and bouncy castles about ten years ago."

"Not to mention, we're skulking about in the corner. If I were on duty back home, I'd be considering us as 'suspicious characters'." Yaz added.

"We can't be spotted." The doctor replied.

"Spotted by who?"

"Him." The Doctor nodded towards the doorway. Yaz and Ryan gasped as they recognised the former incarnation of their friend. He had pushed the door open and was holding it for somebody else. He stooped down and scooped up the toddler which came running after him. The little boy was about two years old, with a shock of golden curls and bright blue eyes, he giggled as the Doctor fiddled with the fastenings of his shoes before slipping them off the boys feet and putting the lad down, watching as the boy ran to play on the soft playground. He still held the door and smiled as a woman entered, holding the hand of an older child, a girl about five years old, with the same golden hair and blue eyes. She slipped her shoes off and handed them to her mother and ran to join her brother. The woman reached out and slipped her hand into her husbands as they made their way to the row of tables to watch the children at play. Graham glanced to the woman beside him.

"You alright?" He asked. She grinned.

"Yeah. Maybe not brilliant yet. But I will be."

?

Author's note.

I have no idea where this came from. The draft of this story was completely different. It sort of took on a life of it's own.


End file.
